Nearly all martial arts facilities have multiple members of a family signed up to take classes. Normally, a child's parents decide they need some sort of discipline and education in how to defend his or herself. After awhile, if the child is having fun with their training, a brother, sister or parent (usually the father) chooses to sign up as well.
At my 11-year-old's school, there are two sets of children's classes, one for ages 5-7, and another for ages 8-13. Once the student reaches 14, they are placed in the adult class. With these groupings, it is common for siblings, or a parent and child, to be placed in the same class. The training can be something for a family to bond over...but both scenarios can cause issues. Fortunately, these issues can be easily avoided in most circumstances.
I have seen multiple sets of brothers, or a brother and sister, training together in the same class. If the children are non-competitive by nature, and get along with each other, I think having them together as training partners can be perfect. They know how to communicate and share with each other, and the one with greater skill and aptitude for the sport can help the other one catch up.
From my experience, however, it's common for one of the siblings to have difficulty with this kind of skill imbalance. Several times, I've seen one brother or sister quit out of frustration when they didn't "get it" like the other did, or the more talented sibling tease the other rather than help. For that reason, I highly recommend that siblings don't train together unless you are 100% sure they can handle it. Talk to the head martial arts instructor at the school and express any concerns you have going in, or let them know if there's a developing issue. Many times, the problem won't exist during training, but will rear its ugly head when they get home.
Where my family trains, we have several sets of related adults & teenagers taking classes together. A couple of fathers and sons, a father and two sons, a father and stepson...even an aunt and nephew. Having these families working together, sharing a bond through the sport of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, adds dramatically to the positive atmosphere, making the school a unique place to be. But it's important for the adult to not act as a parent during training. You have to be able to let go and have them learn on their own.
In a recent class, we were learning multiple choke techniques from the top mount. Whenever something new is being learned, both participants must be cautious about execution. The person being choked has to learn how to tap at the right time - early enough to avoid getting hurt, while making sure the move achieves the desired result. The person applying the choke has to learn the proper way to perform the technique - some misapplied chokes are still painful enough to get a submission because of a cranked neck or other pressure.
In the case of our teens, their learning curve is a little slower as compared to older adults. This particular time, the 15-year-old on top was cranking and pushing and doing everything but getting a nice, clean choke. The 16-year-old on the bottom was taking all of this abuse without letting their partner know that something was wrong; calling the head instructor over to ask for help would have been a good idea. After several minutes, the poor victim left the mat, stretching his neck and asking for an ice pack.
It would have been very easy for his father to overreact, either by babying him, or getting upset with both of them for training in a way that led to an injury. Instead, the parent correctly kept out of it...other than adding a mocking "Eh, maybe that'll toughen him up."
When we're all on the mat together, we're part of a larger martial arts family, connected with generations of people who shared the same experience. For that bond to exist during training, it has to take precedent over family connections. Both relationships grow stronger as a result.
Paul Herzog and his son Christopher have been taking judo and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu instruction at Petushin Martial Arts since the new Rosemount, Minnesota facility opened in 2010. In addition to receiving some of the best grappling instruction in the Midwest, Paul has lost 30 pounds, and Chris has gained strength and self-confidence. If either of those sounds appealing, please contact the academy at 612-991-9116 or go to http://www.petushinmartialarts.com/ to arrange your first visit!
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